Monday, November 28, 2011

How To Get Your Girlfriend to Stop Nagging You / By: Sarah Carter


Nagging is one of the most irritating clichés of relationships. If you have a nagging girlfriend you need to get it under control before she drives you out the door. Be honest, sometimes her nagging is justified but now that it has become a barrier in your relationship, you need to do something. Follow these steps to get your girlfriend to stop nagging you.

1. Listen when she talks. For many relationships, nagging occurs because your girlfriend feels you ignore her. Start by listening when she talks. Be aware that if she is nagging in the middle of the ball game, you cannot stop her. Instead when the game is over it is time to sit down together and talk out your issues. Once she sees you are willing to do so, she should stop interrupting future games.

2. Ask what she wants. Your girlfriend might be nagging about the dishes in the sink when she is really upset about something else. She might want you to take her out to dinner and the dishes are just how that complaint is manifesting itself. Ask her and then listen to her answer.

3. Share the chores. If your girlfriend is nagging about housework, she probably has a point. Does she do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry? What do you offer to the relationship? Your girlfriend wants to be your partner, not your maid. She works too so complaining that you worked all day is not sufficient and devalues the fact that she did the same. Get up and do your part.

4. Stop over-promising. You might think that agreeing when she nags is the best thing to get her off your back. The problem is that when you agree and then don't do what you agreed to, you have just upset her more. Instead, listen to what she is asking you to do then either say no or find a compromise. If you agree, if you promise to do something, then do it. Then she will stop nagging you about it.

5. Keep her updated. Your girl might just be suffering from the space between you. If you don't talk to her or tell you what's going on, she has to ask which you might take as nagging. If you promised to clean the garage, then tell her when you will do it. If something happens to change that, tell her and arrange for another time. Keep your girlfriend updated and she will see that you value the promises you make to her.

6. Provide constructive responses. Avoid telling her to stop nagging. Most women hate nagging you as much as you hate them doing it. Instead when you are talking together, setting goals and making promises, provide her with some constructive criticism. Say to her, "When you ask me to do something, I will do it but in my own time and when you repeat yourself I feel that you don't trust me to do what I agreed to do." Make the statement about you and your feelings not about what she is doing wrong.

7. Spend time with her. If the nagging in your relationship is motivated by your girlfriend feeling ignored then the only way to fix it is to spend time with her. Take her out or watch TV together in the evening. Find what she enjoys and try to do it together. Time may be all you need.

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